Misha is a 4-year-old sweet, charming little girl. She is very intelligent and grasps everything very easily. She is a good listener and an obedient child as well. Misha’s parents are very happy as they are having Misha as their darling angel. As Misha was growing when and where she went out with her parents she developed the interest in dolls. Being the only kid she got the variety of dolls of many different brands from many different toy shops. Initially, it was going good, but after some time her parents stopped buying dolls for her, As Misha’s house was full of dolls and she hardly played with many of them. She always wanted to have many new dolls.
One day while in the mall Misha was passing by toys shop with her parents and she started demanding doll. When they refused to get the doll from toy shop Misha started crying, then screaming, then throwing shoes, her water bottle and it continued. In spite of offering her favorite candy also she didn’t stop crying. And finally, to resolve it her parents bought one more new doll from the toy shop. This happened again and again whenever she saw toy shops she cried, shouted, screamed and thrown things on her parents. As it went on, her parents had questions in mind “Why so many toy shops in the mall? ” “What if we don’t pass by toy shop or avoid going to the mall ?” And for avoiding Misha’s tantrums her parents stopped going to the mall along with her.
The problem here is not because of toys. It was tantrum by the little Misha for getting her demand full filled. Tantrums are just a way to get attention, convey dissatisfaction, or a way to get what they want. Every time avoiding situation which creates tantrums is not possible. When kids through tantrums it becomes difficult to handle them. It’s for some time only and kids forget what happened. Just relax and try to handle the situation calmly.
Following are few tips for handling tantrums of children
1. Find out the reason:
Stress can be the main reason for child’s tantrums. Being hungry/thirsty, tiredness, pain, physical discomfort etc. can also be reasons for showing tantrums. Children can’t express their feelings and exact reason of problem so they throw tantrums. It becomes important for parents/ caregivers to check for the exact reasons. And try to resolve the problem by offering food, water or any other comfort to a kid. Also, these tantrums might be for getting things, going out or fulfilling demands. Discuss with your child and explain about it.
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2. Don’t lose your cool:
Loosing cool is the easiest thing to do. So don’t be angry with a child or don’t shout back on them. As children are forming opinions and learning things from parents /caregivers. So don’t react and try to be patient. Let the child get calm down and check if a child is safe or child does not hurt self. As many kids hurt themselves unknowingly .
3. Don’t argue:
While throwing tantrums kids are in a state where he/she is trying to understand , demand things, kid may or may not understand what parent /caregiver want to convey thru arguments. So arguments have no solution. In this situation, parent or caregiver have to explain kid about their wrong behavior in a calm and composed way.
4. Distract child:
Get kid’s toys that attract or distract his/her attention from tantrums, it does help him /her as you create an imaginary situation with him/her using toys. Like if he/she wants to go to a park and that is the reason for tantrums then create a situation where toys are playing in the park and thus he/she can enjoy at home only. Distraction from the situation is very helpful, a child will get busy in a new thing.
5. Use time-outs:
Use timeouts but sparingly, you may be able to reserve time-outs for situations where your child is endangering himself. Once your child is around 3 years old, time-outs become more effective. Preschoolers are better able to understand when they’ve done something wrong and that time-outs are a form of punishment. Define the behavior you want to stop. Use the time-out when child is intentionally doing something that you have forbidden.
6.Talk with a child:
Parents need to talk it out with child once the tantrum storm has passed away. Explaining everything like why punishment was given ? or what they did was wrong is important. Also parents should as child for not repeating tantrums again in future. Don’t let the child feel rewarded or punished for a tantrum.
7.Express your love:
After tantrum gets over give child hug and tell him/her how much you love them. So that child will realize punishment, time out given for tantrum was not for him/her, but it was for only wrong behaviour.