Is your child hitting others ? Here are tips to handle childhood aggression

angry child
angry child

Are you worried about your kids hitting other kids while playing with each other? Does your child use hitting as a way to express displeasure? Do they kick other kids on the playground?  Do they hit you if they don’t get what they want?  This is natural and normal behavior for children who do not always have the words or the skills to handle difficult situations. Toddlers and pre-schoolers will often respond physically to situations that upset them because they have not yet learned other ways to respond.

Parents often worry about their kids being bullied or ragged by others at nursery or school, so it’s always a shock when you learn that your child is the bully. Dealing with aggressive behaviour and toddler tantrums can really put your parenting skills to the test. There are various possible reasons for which your child may resort to bullying and physical violence, but they can be easily addressed through firm parenting. Toddlers and pre-schoolers are not exactly attuned to social etiquette and sometimes find it easiest to express their feelings of anger, neglect, or frustration by lashing out.Following are few tips to help avoid hitting/ childhood aggression.

1.Provide physical outlets: 

Some kids have loads of energy and they need to let out their energy and thus give them enough ways to play in the playground, jump up and down etc. This helps them channelize their energy in the right direction and not get irritated and frustrated.

2.Be Calm while handling such situation:

Be calm and quiet when handling your kid when he/she is hitting someone. Talk calmly with your child about the wrong behaviour. Explain your child about the consequences and importance of right values.

3.Give words to feeling:

Ask the child why is he/she doing this give him words ask him if he angry, does he want anything. Has someone hurt their feelings? has someone taken their things? Ask them to talk and express feelings. Expressing feelings is great way to avoid wrong behaviour.

4.Find Reasons and address the Unmet needs:

Sometimes hitting comes from parents telling kids what to do and not giving them any options. If parents give children more control, they should be less likely to lash out. Instead of asking kids to do something, prefer to tell them what to do, but provide options. So, instead of saying “would you like to put your shoes on now?”, say “It is time to put your shoes on. Would you like to wear the red ones or the blue ones?

5.Be Honest to yourself:

Have you been displaying any negative behaviour towards your kids ? Kids  will try and replicate what you do, so first ask yourself are you displaying any annoying behaviour? if yes stop the wrong behaviour immediately. Kids learn many things by observing elders , so elders should avoid hitting kids.

6.Limit TV time:

TV has loads of programs which have certain violent streaks, so limit the television time because children  may follow their super heroes and idol’s actions. Say strictly no to play violent cartoon series for them .

7.Give Alternatives to Hitting 

Some kids hit because they don’t know what else to do. They are angry or feel like they have been treated unfairly and don’t know what to do about it, so they hit. Teach kids alternatives to hitting.This can include:

Using words:  Helping them to express their feelings and use words to solve problems instead of hitting people. Sometimes that is as simple as saying “no”. However, if kids feel like “no” is never respected, then they are unlikely to feel like that is an appropriate option instead of hitting.

Walking away: Teaching them that they can walk away when someone is treating them badly instead of lashing back at that person.

Stomping feet: If they do feel the need to react physically to their anger, Give them options like stomping their feet or pounding their fists into a pillow.

Seek for help:  It is good for to learn to solve own problems and disputes. However ask kids to get help in a difficult situation than have they resort to violence. So if kids are having trouble with another kid, encourage them to ask parents, a teacher or other trusted adult for help.

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photo credit: Yelling via photopin (license)



One Comment

  1. Also, I think that at times kids imitate their parents. It is very difficult to stop these kids from hitting.

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